5 Pearls of Wisdom of Andal Ampatuan:

1. Money can’t buy happiness, but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than in a tricycle;
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name;
3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will always remember you when he is in trouble again;
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but then, neither does milk!:-)