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Uncategorized Text Messages

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes

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Text Message 8241: I’ll trade you her weight in gold

An arab sheik to an american tourist: “mr. smith, your wife is a beauty. i will trade you her weight in gold.” smith: “give me a few days.” sheik: “to think it over?” smith: “hell, no! to fatten her up!”:-d
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Text Message 8240: You were flying too low

A man travelling at 200 kph on the expressway was stopped by highway police. “sorry, sir,” said the driver, “was i driving to fast?” “no, sir. you were flying too low.”:-d
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Text Message 8239: Let your wife do the laundry

Clothes washing instructions: 100% cotton machine wash warm, inside out, with like colors. use only non-chlorine bleach. tumble dry medium. medium hot iron. or give it to your wife. it’s her job. 😀
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Text Message 8238: I have been ultra-violated

Young woman went to a hospital for a checkup. “have you been x-rayed yet?” asked a doctor. “nope,” she said, “but ah have been ultra-violated.” :-*
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Text Message 8237: Deleted

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Text Message 8236: Deleted

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Text Message 8235: Reflect upon your present blessings

“reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” good day.
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Text Message 8234: Stop to smell the flowers

You’re only here for a short visit. don’t hurry, don’t worry, and stop to smell the flowers along the way. happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to deal with it. if happiness has not her seat and centre in the breast, we may be wise, rich, or great, but never can […]
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Text Message 8233: Every person has their sweet side

Every person has their sweet side. the only difference is the way they show it. and their chance of having a person to share it with.
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Text Message 8232: 1 for the money, 2 for the show

Two ladies talking and one was depressed. lady1: what’s wrong? lady2: i’v been married 4x n evryone of my husbands died. l1: what did they used to do. l2: well, my 1st husband was a millionaire, 2nd was a magician, 3rd was an evangelist & 4th was a mortician. l1: oh, 1 for the money, […]
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Text Message 8231: Toilet Tennis

While sitting on a public toilet you see written on the stall door: congrats! you’ve won one free game of toilet tennis! look left. you look left and it reads: look right. you look right and it reads: look left…;-)
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Text Message 8230: Wedding ring not as tight as tourniquet

A wedding ring may not be as tight as tourniquet, but it does an equally good job of stopping circulation.:-d
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Text Message 8229: Everyone is getting enough exercise

Sign on company bulletin board: “this company requires no physical fitness program. everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing a friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck. 😉
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Text Message 8228: Deleted

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Text Message 8227: Deleted

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A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes