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Uncategorized Text Messages

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes

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Text Message 12566: Sin of lying (duplicate)

Priest: next sunday, i’ll preach about the sin of lying, & to understand it, i want u to read mark 17. (d ff sunday) priest: how many of you had read mark 17? (almost all raised their hands except of a guy who looks like a gangster) priest: why haven’t you read what i told […]

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Text Message 12565: Dress code in a company

New dress code in a company: you are advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. if you wear prada shoes and carry a hermes bag, we assume you are doing well financially and don’t need a raise. if you dress poorly, learn to manage your money so that you can buy […]

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Text Message 12564: What is pang-abay?

Vhong: what is a sentence? vice: a sentence is a word or a group of words that has a complete thought. vhong: wow. eh verb? vice: a verb is an action word vhong: how about pang-abay? vice: pang-abay? slacks, barong, kimona, dat’s pang-abay!

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Text Message 12563: PNP & NBI

Pnp & nbi are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. p-noy gives them a test. he releases a rabbit into a forest & each of them has to catch it. nbi goes in. after 2 weeks w/o leads, they burn the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit […]

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Text Message 12562: Deleted

Deleted

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Text Message 12561: Hihingi lang ako ng picture mo

Sa jeep babae – mandurukot ka ahh, bakit hawak mo ung wallet ko? lalake – hindi, hindi ako mandurukot, hihingi lang ako ng picture mo.. b – ok, alin ba jan? l – eto oh, ung kay ninoy, pahingi ako ng apat ng copy

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Text Message 12560: You might need an alibi

Sabi ng isang segurista: “i try to make sure that i get caught on at leasd 15 surveillance cameras every day.. because you never know when you might need an alibi!”

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Text Message 12559: Dear Jollibee & Mcdo

Dear jollibee & mcdo, why are all the people in your commercials or advertisements thin? sincerely, highly suspicious

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Text Message 12558: Diskarte kapag walang pamasahe

Diskarte kapag walang pamasahe.. papunta ng quiapo from cubao 1) kapag malapit nang bumaba babae – mama bayad po.. driver – san po bababa? b – sa fairview po. d – pa quiapo po ito. b – ay mali ang nasakyan ko, mama bababa na ako.. 2) pasahero – makikiabot nga po ng bayad (di […]

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Text Message 12557: Two basic groups of people

Thought for the day: there are two basic groups of people: the wishful thinkers who throw coins in fountains & the realists who fish them out..

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Text Message 12556: Nay, GSM Blue po

Sa isang relief operations ng mga taga kapamilya channel.. krissy a: nay, gsm blue po, pampainit, sana makatulong po yan sa inyo. anne c: nay, ako po ang model nyan kaya masarap yan! angel l: eto po pulutan, nay. vice g: nay, chaser po! evacuee na matanda: maraming salamat po!

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Text Message 12555: Do you remember that jewelry shop

An angry wife speaks to her husband on the phone: “where the hell are you?” husband replies: “darling, do you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and i didn’t have money that time and i said, baby, one day it’ll be yours?” wife (smiling […]

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Text Message 12554: If it rains

The beauty of the rain is that if it rains in the u. s., europe, africa, the water disappear in 5 minutes… in the philippines, the streets and roads disappear in 5 minutes!

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Text Message 12553: I’m just a piece of paper but

Paper say to money, “ur just a piece of paper.” money smiled n said, “of course, i’m just a piece of paper but i haven’t seen a dustbin in my life.” ~that’s attitude~

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Text Message 12551: Don’t walk into that church

A man is watching a video and yells, “don’t walk into that church you stupid idiot!” his wife then asks, “what are you watching?” and he says, “our wedding!”

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes