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Uncategorized Text Messages

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes

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Text Message 12550: Rules for toilet use

New company rules for toilet use: “too much time is being spent in the toilet. we are imposing a 3-minute time limit in the stalls. at the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door open & your picture taken. pictures of chronic offenders will be posted […]
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Text Message 12549: You’ll find someone special again

Someday, you’ll find someone special again. people who’ve been in love usually do. it’s in their nature. everybody deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow. sometimes the right person for you was there all along. you just didn’t see it because the wrong person was blocking your sight. don’t give up on love, […]
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Text Message 12548: Man dialled his own number

Man dialled his own number from his girlfriend’s mobile phone to see what name she chose for him.. he was shocked to see “atm no. 5”
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Text Message 12547: Deleted

Deleted
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Text Message 12546: What it feels when I’m driving

Wife was making breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he burst into the kitchen. “careful,” he said, “careful! put some more butter! omg! you’re cooking too many! too many! turn them now! more butter! god! use the salt! the salt! careful…” wife said, “what in the world is wrong, you think i don’t […]
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Text Message 12545: I want to lose weight

Patient: doctor, i desperately want to lose weight. doctor: that’s easy, just keep shaking your head, left and right. patient: all the time? doctor: no, only when someone offers you food!
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Text Message 12544: Bravery, patience and laziness

Q: what’s the height of bravery, patience and laziness? a: sitting on a seashore, waiting for a tsunami to clean up your ass.
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Text Message 12543: Deleted

Deleted
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Text Message 12542: Dont make decisions

2 things in lyf u hav to take mental note of: don’t make any decisions wen u’re angry. & nver make any promises wen u’re happy.:-) gud pm.
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Text Message 12541: Kapag umayaw

Kasabihan.. “kapag ang babae umayaw, nasasaktan na yan.. kapag ang lalake umayaw, lalake na rin ang gusto nyan.” wahahaha
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Text Message 12540: Umalis po

Amo: inday kapag may naghahanap samin sabihin mo “umalis, nagsimba sa quiapo.” kapag tinanong ka kung kailan ang balik sabihin mo “malapit na.” inday: opo ate! (mine morize nya ung sagot pero hindi ang tanong kaya nang may dumating na ahente ng baygon…) ahente: mam, meron po ba kau lamok, ipis at daga? inday: umalis! […]
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Text Message 12539: God is busy watching the apples

In a nursery school canteen, there was a basket of apples with a note that read, “do not take more than one, god is watching!” there was also a box of chocolates, and a tot wrote a note that read, “take as many as you want, god is busy watching the apples!!” 😀
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Text Message 12538: Pinoy Lost Gold Medal in Long Jump

Erap reading newspaper item on 2012 olympic games, “pinoy lost gold medal in long jump.” he remarks, “tanga!! sino ang nagsabi sa kanyang isuot ang gold medal habang tumatalon?!”
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Text Message 12537: Fat girl dancing on a table

A man in a pub saw a fat girl dancing on a table. he came to her and said, “amazing legs!” the girl giggled, smiled, and replied, “do you really think so?” he said, “definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now!”
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Text Message 12536: Bawasan ang kaartehan

Bawasan ang kaartehan kung di naman sagad ang kagandahan/kagwapuhan. madaling sabihin maganda/gwapo ka, mahirap naman hanapin kung saan banda

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes