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Uncategorized Text Messages

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes

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Text Message 12324: You used to give me gifts

Wife: sweetie, you used to give me gifts before we got married. why did that change? husband: honey, have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to fish after catching them?
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Text Message 12323: Make sure you come early

Attention: all men who suffer from premature ejaculation, there will be an anonymous meeting at the local bar tomorrow. make sure you come early!
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Text Message 12322: Rules Men Wish Women Followed

Rules men wish women followed: 1. if you think you’re fat, you probably are.. don’t ask us. 2. birthdays, valentines and anniversaries aren’t quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again. 3. shopping is not a sport. 4. anything you wear is really fine. 5. you have enough clothes. 6. you […]
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Text Message 12321: Terrified of the electric bill

Fact of the day! i used to be afraid of the dark.. now i’m terrified of the electric bill!
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Text Message 12320: Talagang maginoo ang mga lalake

Observation… makikita mo sa mrt na talagang maginoo ang mga lalake dahil ayaw nilang nakakakita ng mga babaeng nakatayo, mga buntis na nakatayo at mga matatandang nakatayo! ano ang ginagawa ng mga lalake, pumipikit sila at nagtutulungan para di nila makita! ang pinakamahirap pa namang gisingin sa lahat ay ang mga nagtutulugan!
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Text Message 12319: When the bill arrives

Eating out.. when the bill arrives, each man will each throw a 500 bucks note even though it’s only 350 bucks. none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want the change back.. and when women get their bill, out comes the pocket calculators!
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Text Message 12318: Humor Dictionary

Humor dictionary: zebra: horses who escaped from prison. marriage: betting half your shit that you’ll love them forever. sarcasm: the ability to insult without them knowing. drug dealer: street pharmacist bee: natural suicide bomber sleep: an activity for people without internet access. alcohol: liquid version of photoshop
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Text Message 12317: Deleted

Deleted
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Text Message 12316: Having Lips

Having lips… and not using them to smile, is like having… a million dollars in the bank and forgetting the account number. smile and have a happy day!
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Text Message 12315: Gano kabango ang mundo ko pag tahimik ka

Boy: pikit ka, ganyan kadilim ang mundo ko kapag wala ka! girl: takpan mo ang bibig mo kasi ganyan kabango ang mundo ko pag tahimik ka!
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Text Message 12314: Dicks are not like Pinnochio’s nose

Dear men, your dicks are not like pinnochio’s nose that will get even longer when they tell lies. so, please, stop being liars. sincerely, reality
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Text Message 12313: Magiging ama ka na!

Juan: bobo ako, bobo ako! bat ba ang tanga2 ko, magpapakamatay na lng ako! gf ni juan: wag mong ituloy yan juan! magiging ama ka na! (natahimik si juan) juan: buntis ako?
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Text Message 12312: You dont have to fight the battle

“being strong doesn’t always mean you have to fight the battle. true strength is being adult enough to walk away from the nonsense with your head held high.”
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Text Message 12311: Deleted

Deleted
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Text Message 12310: And for others, there is Mastercard

Some girls fall in love because of looks.. some get charmed by sweet words.. some girls fall in love because of tenderness.. and for others, there is… mastercard!

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes