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Uncategorized Text Messages

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes

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Text Message 11963: Kung bagay yung apelyido nya sakin

Isang estudyante nahuli ng teacher na nangongopya. guro: aba, aba, nangongopya ka ah! estudyante: hindi po mam, tinignan ko lang kung bagay yung apelyido nya sakin! 😀
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Text Message 11962: No one wins over a lawyer

A lawyer was having some extra curricular fun with his secretary inside his car. when he got home, his wife noticed a pair of stockings in the back seat. she picked them up then in front of him, tore them apart while screaming, “so what the hell is this?” he calmly replied, “you just destroyed […]
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Text Message 11961: Kelangan kumuha ng urine test

Isang adik kukuha ng license para pumasada, pero kailangan muna nya mag urine test kaya tinawagan nya ang kapatid na babae.. adik: ‘oy loleng lagyan mo nga ng ihi itong bote! loleng: bakit kuya? adik: eeh magpapa urine test ako.. yang ihi mo nalang ibibigay ko.. (ilang minuto pagkatapos ng test tinawag si adik ng […]
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Text Message 11960: What do you want in the future?

Mother: what do you want in the future? daughter: i want to become a mother.. do graduate studies.. get married… mother: (angrily) do whatever you want… but follow proper sequence while doing it…
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Text Message 11959: Mahalin na parang asawa

Best way para di ka pagsawaan ng bf/gf mo: pakisamahan mo siya na parang barkada pero mahalin mo siya na parang asawa
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Text Message 11958: Gusto mo ng joke?

Boy: gusto mo ng joke? girl: sige! gusto ko yan! anu joke mo? boy: ang ganda mo!;-)
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Text Message 11957: Husband’s Creed

Husbands’ creed – supposed to be when wife commands – obey when wife travels – accompany when wife is wrong – disregard when wife spends – accept when wife loses temper – endure when wife wants intimacy -provide when wife becomes unreasonable – recall “supposed to be”
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Text Message 11956: Magpadagdag ng dibdib

Mommy dionesia: manny, anak, magpunta man ako ke bilo. gusto ko magpadagdag ng dibdib para sumiksi aku. pacman: ma, kailangan mo pa ba yun? di ba parang masagwa kung… tatlu ang didi mu? wapaaaaak, tumba si pacman! hahaha
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Text Message 11955: Just show me your tongue

Doctor to a lady, “your heart, pulse rate and bp are okay. now let me see that little thing which gets ladies into trouble.” the lady gets into action, and the doctor said, “no! please put on your clothes, just show me your tongue!”
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Text Message 11954: Atorni, magkano po ang charge nyo

Juan: atorni, magkano po ang charge nyo? atty: p10,000 para sa tatlong tanong. juan: di po ba mahal yon? atty: medyo. ano ang pangatlo mong tanong?
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Text Message 11953: Ikaw, nag-grow sideways

Cactus grow amazingly in the desert… flowers grow beautifully in the garden… trees grow mightily in the forest… water lilies grow gracefully in the pond… orchids grow wonderfully on trees… ikaw! nag-grow sideways?!?… mwahahaha!
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Text Message 11952: Buntisin mo sya ulit

Babae: tay buntis po ako. ama: ay tangina! sabihan mo ang lalakeng gumawa nyan sayn, pakasalan ka nya kundi magkakamatayam kami. humanda sya sa tapang ko. sunod na araw, dumating ang lalake, mayaman.. lalake: hindi ko pwede pakasalan ang anak nyo pero ako bahala sa bata. pagbabae, may 15 milyon kau. paglalake, 30 milyon. pero […]
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Text Message 11951: Father-in-law gave him an Audi

A mother-in-law tested her three sons-in-law for their good nature. for this she went to a river with 1st son-in-law and jumped. he saved her and she gave him a car. next day, she went with 2nd son-in-law to the river and jumped. he also saved her and she gave him a motorcycle. on the […]
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Text Message 11950: Deleted

Deleted
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Text Message 11949: Si lola, nagpapansin

Juan: kawawa naman yung lola mo, nakasabay q kasi sya sa jeep kahapon.. ubo ng ubo! pinagtitinginan nga sya eh! pedro: ngek! nagpapansin lang yun.. naka skinny jeans kasi!

A collection of Uncategorized text messages and SMS quotes