Uncategorized Text Messages

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Text Message 11809: Give me some pepper

Sa isang sosyal na hotel sa u.s., tumawag ng room service si mommy dionesia.. mommy d: give me some pepper! hotel clerk: black pepper, green pepper or red pepper? mommy d: no! twelet pepper!

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Text Message 11805: You will go to jail

Teacher: give the future tense of the sentence, “i killed a man.” student: piece of cake, ma’am. the future tense is “you will go to jail!”

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Text Message 11804: Women use their hearts, men use their brains

Do you know why men and women don’t understand each other? because god gave good brains to women and good hearts to men. but women use their hearts. and men use their brains. stupidity but that’s reality.

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Text Message 11803: Someone else must have shot the lion

90 year old man: my 18 year old wife is pregnant. what do you think, doctor? doc: let me tell you a story.. a hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of a gun. he goes into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle & bang.. the lion drops dead! […]

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Text Message 11802: Tay, hindi ako umiyak

Anak: tay, nadapa ako kanina, pero hindi ako umiyak. tatay: machong macho talaga anak ko, hindi basta basta umyak, manang mana sa tatay nya. anak: siempre naman tay, sabi nga sa kanta big girls don’t cry..:-)

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Text Message 11801: A guy’s photo in girlfriend’s bag

A man after a romantic dinner date with his girlfriend saw a guy’s photo in her bag.. he: is he your boyfriend? she: (kissed him) no, dear, that’s me before surgery.

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Text Message 11800: Deleted

Deleted

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Text Message 11799: Every woman needs a husband

Every woman needs a husband.. because every day, every minute.. something goes wrong in her life which she can’t blame on god or the government :-* hahaha!

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Text Message 11798: Ano ang susunod sa Mercury?

Guro: juan, ano ang susunod sa mercury? juan: watson’s po mam! guro: ang hina mo naman, juan! pedro, ano ang susunod sa venus? pedro: si shamcey supsop po mam!

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Text Message 11797: Dahil sawa ka na

“darating sa puntong aayawan mo na ang isang tao, di dahil pagod ka na, kundi dahil sawa ka na sa paulit-ulit nilang ginagawa.” goodnight. :

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Text Message 11796: Shh, not another word

Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “shh, not another word” may be romantic… but the police don’t think so! 😀

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Text Message 11795: Deleted

Deleted

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Text Message 11809: Give me some pepper

Text Message 11808: Deleted

Text Message 11807: Deleted

Text Message 11806: Deleted

Text Message 11805: You will go to jail

Text Message 11804: Women use their hearts, men use their brains

Text Message 11803: Someone else must have shot the lion

Text Message 11802: Tay, hindi ako umiyak

Text Message 11801: A guy’s photo in girlfriend’s bag

Text Message 11800: Deleted

Text Message 11799: Every woman needs a husband

Text Message 11798: Ano ang susunod sa Mercury?

Text Message 11797: Dahil sawa ka na

Text Message 11796: Shh, not another word

Text Message 11795: Deleted